October War Victory

Egypt celebrates Armed Forces Day on October 6th in remembrance of the crossing of the Suez in 1973. There is an overwhelming consensus in Egypt that the Arab Republic had decisively defeated Israel militarily. Without any pretension of fairness and as a student of history I cannot support this claim. This does not mean however that Israel had triumphed either (the picture above is of Israeli Defense Secretary Moshe Dayan and General Ariel Sharon crossing the Suez Canal in a counter offensive). The biggest lesson from the war was that Egypt proved itself willing to sustain heavy losses in order to continuously inflict nominally smaller but proportionately great damage to Israel. It is evident that the Syrian government would have continued fighting even if Israel occupied Damascus. This strategic irrationality provided the best context for prevailing cold peace between Israel and Egypt...

Professor F: (whips around from the board) so did Egypt triumph militarily?

Egyptian students: (reacts as though he had asked whether the union won the civil war) Yes.

Professor F: (smiling) The ally's capital is on the verge of bombardment, half of your army is encircled facing imminent destruction, and the enemy has crossed the front and advanced 100 km to you capital... How do you convince anyone that this is a victory?

Egyptian students: (silence/stunned)

Professor F: I bet most of you don't know that during the Suez Crisis Israel occupied the entire Sinai.

Egyptian students: (reacts like a four year old being told Santa doesn't exist)

HISTORY PROFESSOR WIN!

Now importing Salt and Curry to Rome

Petra and Palmyra served as crucial entrepôts for goods coming into the Roman Empire. One trade route would bring goods from India up the Persian Gulf and up the Euphrates River, crossing into the Roman Empire through Palmyra in modern day Syria. A second route would bring goods up the Red Sea and the Gulf of Aqaba, landing near present day Eilat and entering the Roman Empire through Petra in modern day Jordan...

Professor S: So what spice did Rome import from India? It's something you could only get from India
Student 1: Curry!
Professor S: (taking it lightly) Yes, curry comes from India, but something else... a certain spice (key word here: SPICE)
Student 2: Salt!
Professor S: (stares at the student) You know you can make salt anywhere there's salt water...
Student 2: Maybe iodized?
Professor S: The answer is pepper. Let's move on...

Oil, the progenitor of Arab culture

Arab culture as it stands today developed from central Arabia during a time when the international superpowers (Byzantines and the Sassanids) were highly interested in Arabia Felix (today's Yemen) - There were three major inputs into the Arab civilization: Greco-Roman/Persian influence, Monotheism, and ...

Professor S: So what is the third element?

Student 1: Oil!

Professor S: No that's later

Student 1: (shocked and in disbelief) Are you saying oil is not important?

Professor S: (Taken aback) No it is, but it's not an element of the Arab civilization

Student 1: (standoffish) ... But it is important, yes?

Professor S: It is later... You guys are forgetting that the indigenous Arab culture... It is the most obvious one...

Jew!

Professor S: So in this picture who is an Arab?

Student 1: There is a Jew in the picture

Professor S: (shocked)

Student 1: the nose, you know...

Rain, rain go away...

Ancient people of Yemen produced one of the earliest sedentary societies in Ancient Arabia thanks to the monsoon rains. They were able to efficiently harvest the rain water coming down from the high mountains and developed a complex irrigation system which allowed for agricultural. They developed their own unique system of writing and expanded into what is today Ethiopia. In fact, the alphabet used by the Ethiopians today was originally produced by the the ancient Yemeni people.

Professor S: South Arabian civilizations peaked from 1000 BC all the way to 7th century AD when forces from Central Arabia...

Student 1: (exasperated) Wait! I don't get it, they didn't have rain before 1000 BC?

Professor S: (trying hard not to slap the student) No, this is when we first have written evidence of their existence

Student 1: So this has nothing to do with the rain!

Professor S: (dumbfounded) ...

Dilmun, the exporter of wood - the high tech weapon of the day

Bahrain. It was once the site of a proud civilization called Dilmun which dominated the trade in the Persian Gulf - During the height of its power (2500 - 1500 BC) this island civilization exported from its colonies (current day Oman) the raw material for one of the most high tech weaponry of the ancient world.

Professor S: So what did Dilmun export?

Student 1: Iron!

Professor S: (smiling) Not quite, it's still far before the Iron Age

Student 2: Stones!

Professor S: (shocked, not sure if the student is joking) no...

Student 1: Wood!

Professor S: (crestfallen) They exported copper... for bronze... Let's move on

What would be a history professor's worst nightmare?

I am studying abroad at AUC this semester. For those of you who are not familiar with the acronym, it stands for American University in Cairo - Do not be misled by the name, the school is hardly American (many of the staff hardly speak English), it is not in Cairo (rather an hour bus ride away in New Cairo), and for reasons I will discuss further in this blog, it fails to be a university - In an attempt to admonish the true culprits, I will cry out: It is not the professors who are at fault! Every professor that I have this semester are superb, yet despite their best efforts there are those who bring down the professors' best intentions and sanity in a burning heap - yes, they are the AUC students themselves, not all, oh no of course not all, but such a sheer force of stupidity cannot be looked over without the palm firmly planted over one's face. What should we expect from the many many rich, money-for-grades, and lazy Egyptian undergraduates that roam the halls of AUC?

Here I shall dispel the many many conversations that I am forced to listen to in class.

God help your sanity.